Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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Well folks, job number 2 down the crap hole...
This time it's actually quite funny:
For those of us that don't know what I've been doing- is working FedEx home delivery; in a rather large 'dualy' delivery truck.
On saturday, I was entering an apartment complex with one of those "gate entrances" with the white & black striped board that deliberately says "ONE CAR ONLY"...
So I am frustrated because time is thin and there's no one to let me in- I can't back up because there's a highway behind me. A few cars pull in behind, and I go through the long process of pulling a U-turn out of the complex; where I back up, go forward, back, forward like Austin Powers. So I go around crossing the busy 4 lane highway- coming right back and trying to re-enter the code...
But this time, with no more patience and time, the car in front of me opens the gate. What do I do? YES!! Gas that puppy and do a tight squeeze...
But NO!! Down comes that f-ing board right into my windshield and SNAP! Crack! clank....
It was just an old flimsy board of wood that was weathered; the way I see it, I was doing them all a favor.
Delivered the package to the complex, just drove out because ya know. It's all about utilitarianism; gotta do all those deliveries asap! 
Oh yeah, I left a note too saying "Oops, sorry." with a cheap little smiley face on it. But- that's all I left.
See, that way I could tell my boss that I "left a note", (without a signature) which is kind of dumb to do, but what got me in trouble was that I didn't report it right away.
What?  Anyway, that's the spoof and now I've got two weeks left.
I laughed my ass off pretty hard though and I needed it.
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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I would have kept the gate and handed it to my boss when I got back to to the office.
"This is for you... in case someone calls about a missing gate...".
Sorry to hear about the job loss. Been there, done that.....
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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Should've had my camera, I usually do. Always carrying that thing in my cargo pockets in case of funny stuff like that. Didn't even leave a mark on the truck!
At least I moved the board out of the way. When I drove by it later that day someone had duct-taped the damn thing back on.
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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Sonic Wallpaper
Joined: 05/22/01
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1266
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I'm surprised FedEx hasn't already installed the cameras that record the front/back views of the trucks. I was just out in Vegas recently, and it seems all the cabs now have these.
Sorry to hear about the job loss. At least you are collecting some good stories.
I've found when you are on someone else's dollar, it is best to keep them informed and document things that could be questioned. Then again, I had to learn that by getting in trouble several times over the years.
What's next? Are they placing anything on your driving record?
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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Actually, you know, it looks as though that the terminal is taking responsibility for my error. (yay) So no, not showing up on my driver record. If it did, I'd have to go back and break it again; this time in four or sixteen pieces.
hehe, the funny thing is that the contractor I work for can't find another replacement driver. So I've been told that it "might be longer" before I'm out.
Which means I'm going to get the hell out of there before then, because I just worked 14 hours today- and the 2 months behind today!! (including no bathroom/lunch breaks) I just recently learned that I've been getting screwed with an extra route on my truck because I have the extra space to carry; and that I'm new. That's why people have been being "really really nice" to me by helping when I couldn't shut the doors to my truck because it was packed too full.  No, this is not part of a workers' union...
Anyway, like steve said "been there done that"... I could complain all day about endless inefficiencies.
All I've got left to do now is top off the gallon jug of piss I've been best buds with for this week, poke a small hole & ice curdle that pup into the routing office.
Yes, I'm mad right now sorry for the detailed explanation.
And cheers.
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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Here ya go fellers. This morning I felt obligated to go into the terminal.  Vannah White style.
I quit.
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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Right on, Bro!!!
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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A Bit Crusher
Joined: 01/26/02
Location: Tilburg
Posts: 1794
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louwhoz
Joined: 03/13/05
Posts: 429
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You're fabulous, Kylo!
Come back to San Diego and work for me...piss and lunch breaks included! 
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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What would I be doing for you Lou? Could I send my resume?
oh man, I type three of those laughing icons because this is totally funny. 
Let me rephrase: shall I send you my "skills"?
Well, in case you're serious- I am making my way in your direction as my next plan is to try out San Fransisco... My contractor told me that she'd be a reference because she actually was the one that informed me I was being completely picked on etc. On my side.
So- my aunt had already given me a two week stay at a Hampton Inn down in sanfran a lil' while ago & I am gonna try; possibly another fedex job there. I loved this work, it fit my personality a lot- but not the hours!!
I'm telling ya, a guy/gal could be delivering on a beach route in Maui with the sun setting and beautiful ambient, soothing music playing-- But, if that person got up at 4:30 then went out driving all day past 8:00pm...
It don't matter who you are- Yer gonna go even if a mermaid came out of the water to greet you.
(and chances are it would be to get her package from you.)
Hey you guys, thanks for reading through my rants. This is my only social life currently outside my brother and his wife who I'm staying with. (My bro got layed off from the terminal too!!)
So he's jobless as well; the both of us throwing back & forth flippant comments & laughing all today is great!
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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louwhoz
Joined: 03/13/05
Posts: 429
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Well, if you find yourself anywhere near San Diego you know you have a place to stay. And yes, of course I'm serious about you working for me. But we can talk about details later....
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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Well, man! It'd be great to see you two again~ I'll give you a call maybe down the road...
Opportunity to stay with Gid & Lou... I am not worthy!!
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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