(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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Life has its moments....
Saturday, July 24, 2010 at 11:12 PM
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Well it's been quite a week. There have been a lot of tears and hugs and memories and reunions this past week. Why you ask? Well my Mother past away last Tuesday, unexpectedly of course...
I spent Tuesday pretty much in a haze of confusion and shock, but slowly came out of it over the next couple days. Friday was the funeral and now we're trying our best to get back to normal (is there such a thing) and prepare for the return to work. My brother was in no condition to speak at the funeral, but I somehow mustered the strength (thanks Mom) and gave a eulogy. It was something I needed to do as I didn't speak at my Father's funeral 12 years ago. I thought, as part of my own personal healing, I'd share with you what I wrote in the hopes that perhaps it would give some insight into how this kid thinks of not only his Mom but also his Father and what I've learned from life.
So here 'tis...
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Mom has the very distinct honour of being an important part of the Province of Ontario's long history. She is a direct decendent of Scottish pioneers. A group of seekers who set out, more than a century and a half ago, in search of new lives and new opportunities, in a place halfway around the world, to settle near a village called Grand Bend.
Now let's just stop and think about that for a moment, shall we?
It's 1856. We're in Hay Township. Nearest village is a place called Grand Bend.
Not sure about you... but Holy Cowboys and Indians, folks..!!
And a lot of Scottish cowboys ta boot. But by all accounts this group were staunch Presbyterians. They partied at home.
Eventually Turnbulls and Pattersons would get together and... well... I think we're all pretty clear on the outcome.
But it's from that historic past that the most incredible of possibilities occurred. From those small, humble beginnings grew a family tree with an enormous abundance of branches all creating an amazing canopy full of a very distinct group of truely unique Canadians.
A part of that group shares their history with me. All linked to a town called Grand Bend and a place outside it called Sunny Brook Farm.
A farm that would play an important part in a young girl's life. One that would begin 85 years ago.
That girl was Mom. And what a life it was. One filled with so many chapters. All of them with a reason and a purpose.
And at some point. During some magical connecting moment... a major turning point for sure... along comes a kid from Forest,. A seeker. An educated man. A teacher. In search of meaning. A man with a very close connection to God. A true Holy Man. She knew there was something very special about him. He was meant for a higher purpose. And she knew it was something she wanted to be part of. And she would wait as long as it took for it happen. So off they went. On an odyssey that lasted 54 years .
During my time with Mom and Dad I don't remember them ever being apart for more than a few days at a time and certainly were never further than a car ride away from each other. Totally committed to each other. Taking on fearlessly whatever life threw at them, battling through it with the sort of power of love and understanding that only God can give you. Together they taught us all that no matter what happens, the love that God keeps alive in our hearts will give us the strength to carry on and the power to know when to share that strength with those who need it most.
Dad's earthly commitments ended in 1998 and Mom's ended this past Tuesday. Her higher purpose now revealed to her, Mom will be going back to where it all began. To one of the most magical places on earth. A place full of the memories of all the seekers who came before us.
Thanks, Mom, for helping this seeker search for what he's looking for. Thanks for teaching me love and understanding.
I'll see you In the sweet by and by, Mom. I'll meet you on that beautiful shore.
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I, of course, had the service follow immediately with the hymn "In the sweet by and by".
There wasn't a dry eye in the place....
A lot of mystical, coincidental, strangely odd things have happened this past week. None of which would have been possible without Mom's passing. A lot of reconciliation took place and several broken hearts have been mended as a result.
And now life carries on.....
TAFN
Steve
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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A Bit Crusher
Joined: 01/26/02
Location: Tilburg
Posts: 1794
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RE: Life has its moments....
Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 4:22 AM
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Hi Steve, I wish you and your family all the strength and wisdom you need now...
My father died a few years ago, but fortunately my mother still lives...Must be very hard to loose your last parent...all the best to y'all....
Greetings, Roland
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(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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RE: Life has its moments....
Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 5:46 AM
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A Bit Crusher wrote:Hi Steve, I wish you and your family all the strength and wisdom you need now...
Thank you, Roland
Steve
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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RE: Life has its moments....
Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 2:33 PM
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Makes me wish you were my kid Steve.
Well said and most respectful of a great mother- it's got lots of love in the story. Life changes are so hard on us without warning it just surprises the hell out of us. from the sound of that story I know your mother would want you to not feel afloat and lost at this point. Although, it's too difficult to stop emotions from pouring out when they flood your mind with sharp memories of yesterday.
I miss my grandfather a ton- he seemed to be the only person I recall teaching me about hard work and fair treatment of people etc... The other day I asked him to help me pick up a 300 pound garbage can tipped over in the street after failing the first time and I came back to it with just the right energy to do it ya know; it was just fascinating. I'm a firm believer in continued existence.
I wish you a good one Steve. Sorry friend.
Here's to the crazy adventure we all call life. 
And Roland- It would be cool to have you as my kid too.  
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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RE: Life has its moments....
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 4:44 AM
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Kylo wrote:Makes me wish you were my kid Steve.
Thanks, Kylo. There were several little white haired ladies at the service that said the same thing.
Continued existence indeed. I am a firm believer myself.
to you Kylo!
And thanks again...
Steve
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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RE: Life has its moments....
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 6:09 AM
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Last night was my first night back to work. And damn if I wasn't beat. I felt jet-lagged all night. Was glad I had lots of big print jobs in the queue. Kept having to put my head down for short periods. I'm guessing all the events of last week just caught up to me. I'm experiencing something I've never experienced before. Lots of feelings I've never felt before. I'm okay though. I'm fine at home. Just a little freaked out. IYKWIM...
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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doofgoblin
Joined: 01/21/02
Location: charlottesville, va
Posts: 191
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RE: Life has its moments....
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 10:15 AM
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so sorry for your loss, Steve. that's a touching eulogy and no doubt you helped a lot of people that day.
be well.
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Kylo
Joined: 02/16/05
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 787
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RE: Life has its moments....
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 10:45 AM
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 Man, you have to be back at work so soon??
"Energizer bunny arrested- charged with battery."
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A Bit Crusher
Joined: 01/26/02
Location: Tilburg
Posts: 1794
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RE: Life has its moments....
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 10:55 AM
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Kylo wrote:and Roland- It would be cool to have you as my kid too.
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Sonic Wallpaper
Joined: 05/22/01
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1266
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RE: Life has its moments....
Monday, July 26, 2010 at 8:19 PM
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Hi Steve,
I'm so sorry to hear this news. I think I would have been more like your brother and been too choked up to speak. I'm glad to hear you are so close to your family and that you all were there for each other. Thank you for sharing the eulogy, I'm sure your words will be in the hearts of your family for years to come.
>>A lot of reconciliation took place and several broken hearts have been mended as a result.
Glad to hear that something positive played out and that people were open to healing and change.
Take care man - we love you and are thinking of you.
Gideon / Lou / Baby Gid / Miles / Lola
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Second Thought
Joined: 05/05/02
Location: Oh God knows.
Posts: 188
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RE: Life has its moments....
Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 7:42 AM
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All my thoughts and best wishes Steve, hope you continue to cope with this with the strength you've been displaying so far.
Drug use for children has for many an education and with obvious alarm to both parents on the increase almost yearly.
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(((stereofect)))
Joined: 09/02/01
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1333
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RE: Life has its moments....
Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 10:17 AM
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Thank you, all of you, for your kind words and messages. It means soooo so much to me to know you all care and want things to go well for me and my family. We're gonna get through this, but damn if ain't a lot of work...
We're down to the nitty griity details now of dealing with estate matters and bank accounts and lawyers and probate stuff all that crap involved with it all.
Phew... if any of you ever need guidance on how to handle what to do I'll certainly be able to help with that. It's a bit stressful but otherwise not too bad. Just a lot of phonecalls and driving around and signing off on stuff....
Ugh....
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein
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louwhoz
Joined: 03/13/05
Posts: 429
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RE: Life has its moments....
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 at 12:16 PM
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Quote:Makes me wish you were my kid Steve. Well said, Kylo.
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a parent. You are truly blessed with a wonderful connection to God and to your parents and their legacy of a relationship that they gave to you. I know you have passed that gift on to your own family and in that way her love and life will continue.
Now that I am a mom myself, the thought of losing one seems that much harder. My heart goes out to you...
With that said, you wrote one of the most beautiful eulogies I have ever read. So lovely, so sweet and kind. It made me wish I had the privilege of getting to know her, and that is what a good eulogy should do. I'm so proud of you! You took something that is painful and difficult and turned it into something precious. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
We're here for you, Steve.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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Johnny & Faith
Joined: 08/14/01
Posts: 247
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RE: Life has its moments....
Thursday, July 29, 2010 at 3:00 PM
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